When people are incapable of understanding nuance (grey areas, paradox, nonduality, whatever you want to call it) they are generally incapable of communicating on difficult topics. Generally anyone attached dogmatically to any particular belief have trouble opening to conflicting or even complimentary information. When one comes up against dogma in another it seems best to go silent and start listening carefully. Sometimes there is a way to re-engage and other times the best one can do is allow the moment while opening the heart as wide as possible. When one cannot be understood, when communication isn’t possible, argument is not helpful.
A valuable practice can be to not attach to beliefs at all. Using different frames and philosophies is necessary to communicate at all in this world. We can remember then that we really know very little. What is true most often depends on context and interpretation — both of which are always changing and differ from person to person. What is right for me may not be right for you. What is right for me today may not be what I need tomorrow.
Practicing non-attachment to belief and also being aware of when perhaps we are not able to do this can open up the world so that new things can be witnessed. Fixation is stagnation. Dogma is a fixation of belief.
Healing and resiliency require a lack of fixation…a sort of fluidity of spirit and intention. It is from this place that healing comes.
By not attaching to belief we can also reframe our experience and thus the narratives of our lives. This isn’t about changing the factual details of what happened but rather about understanding them differently. This is powerful medicine.
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