Monica Cassani’s latest adventure

Last year my life was altered in drastic ways. Certainly, all our lives were, given the changes we’ve all had to make due to the pandemic. For me things got even crazier. Just as we were given “stay at home” orders I had to leave my house. I developed a severe mold allergy, and certainly, the mold was a large part of why I’ve not gotten healthier faster. I also have other complicated micro-biome (infection) issues secondary to the brain injury that continue to challenge me in ways that are hard to talk about. In any case I had to leave my home as “stay at home” orders were issued. I started by living in the backyard for 6 months and then when that became impossible I simply had to leave. I started driving cross country. I hoped to get back to California after 17 years, if only for a visit. I have been dealing with drug injury and complications from that drug injury for that long! …..

Healing addiction: harm reduction (focus on smoking)

I never quit smoking and I don’t smoke anymore. What I did was start mindfully smoking. I started to feel every bit of the smoking process — both the deliciousness and the toxicity of the smoke as it entered my mouth,  into my lungs tingle in all my cells. I smoked every cigarette like it was my last one until I no longer smoked. I didn’t smoke for 11 years and then I experienced tobacco in a ceremony. …

Golden nuggets from beyond

The entire world is conventional. One can wear different costumes and the manifestations of dysfunction then vary…a lot. We live in paradox. In any case it seems the only thing left to do is rejoin humanity and ignore all stories and simply wander among my brothers and sisters. *** A friend who briefly was sortContinue reading “Golden nuggets from beyond”

Let the light of your madness shine and I learned transcendence from my father’s cooking

“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of yourContinue reading “Let the light of your madness shine and I learned transcendence from my father’s cooking”

Follow her into the wilderness. She will heal you.

my natural authentic self makes most people uncomfortable… I actually once believed that waking up, being aware and being oneself openly and honestly would create a person that everyone could not help but adore…. *** my experience of PTSD is that there are specific (unidentified) species of bacteria/virus/fungus that opportunistically take advantage of the stressedContinue reading “Follow her into the wilderness. She will heal you.”

be the snake: eat yourself

auto-immune illness, chronic illness, withdrawal illness (how it’s all linked for me) I learned “auto-immune” meant my system was in over-drive all the time because it was fighting real infections. Western medicine says that auto-immune means the body is hurting itself. For me this was untrue. My body was fighting and waiting for me to startContinue reading “be the snake: eat yourself”

Hello. My name is Monica. I’ve come back from the dead.

like the term AFFLICTION . A good term for the kaleidoscopic nature of chronic illness. There is no minimization of the real physical manifestations. We’re not imagining it. They are nervous system and micro-biome issues and they will manifest in endless ways. They cannot be put in boxes. …

Mask wearing for dummies

a post…just because I cannot shut up and that which most people refuse to consider when innocent people are being harmed. First tweeted here. Slight edits for clarity and a bit of further development are included below. my (personal) position on mask wearing: not being able to breathe well is awful and sometimes dangerous. stayingContinue reading “Mask wearing for dummies”